Pseudepigrapha

Dearest Iqbal-

Hail fellow well met!

I received today via the post the quarterly update from the OED3!  Thrilling. But then I opened it up and began to tremble. Oh, the changes. Not only are they re-writing every definition from scratch, but they aren't even starting with the letter A! They began with M and are now up to R.  Every school child in the nation will have to unlearn and then relearn that damn melody.  Think how this will effect you: your last name used to be at the fore of the alphabet. Now it glumly resides right in the middle, between Z and B. Did the OEDers consult anyone? This must be an affront to someone.

But think!  Starting at "M" and following consecutively... M, N, O, P...Y, Z, A, B...  They've only re-defined "M" through "reamy." That's not even a quarter of the letters.  What of the rest?  Every other word is trapped in the past waiting to be re-admitted in to our lexicon, sitting in an antiquated waiting room, twiddling it's serifs, wondering if it will be invited back into our mouths. Like a snake stuck in mid-molt, it's skin not off but certainly not of, we have two languages. 

"each to the other calls

Not understood, til hoarse, and all in rage

As mockt they storm; great laughter was in Heav'n

And looking down, to see the hubbub strange

And hear the din; thus was the building left

Ridiculous"

Ridiculous!  

Speaking of language barriers, I was thinking back to that time that you and I saw The Lion King on Broadway. Oh, what a time that was. Even though you claimed to be bored by it (mindless infantilization is the term you threw around) I could tell you were right there with the lions and monkeys and all.  I can't wait to be king, either. I think those sorts of cultural exchanges are really worth while. Not all of us can be diehard cultural anthropologists like you and go stomping around without checking your e-mail in some foreign country. We unlucky have to go to broadway in order to get get a glimpse of African culture and history, and it doesn't hurt that it's in a bite-sized portion. When you come back we should definitely see another. Maybe Shrek The Musical?  It's getting dynamite reviews.

-Robert de Saint-Loup